Opinion Blog

Ask a Psychologist

Helping Students Thrive Now

Angela Duckworth and other behavioral-science experts offer advice to teachers based on scientific research. To submit questions, use this form or #helpstudentsthrive. Read more from this blog.

Student Well-Being Opinion

One Simple Thing You Can Do to Make Yourself Happier

Why simple experiences matter
By Cassie Holmes — November 30, 2022 1 min read
What's one simple thing I can do to be happier?
  • Save to favorites
  • Print

What’s one simple thing I can do to be happier?

My advice is to help yourself pay attention to the people who matter to you. Here’s something I wrote about the topic for Character Lab as a Tip of the Week:

Ashley and I have been friends since we were 12 years old. When we find a way to schedule a dinner for just the two of us, away from kids and work and endless to-do lists, it’s a special treat.

As we sat down, Ashley placed her phone face down on the table. “Aren’t you proud of me? This way I won’t be distracted.”

Though I applauded her intentions, research finds that friends who dine with their phones on the table feel less engaged and enjoy their dining experience less compared with those whose phones are kept out of sight. Seeing a phone serves as a reminder (to everyone) of all the other tasks they could and “should” be doing at that moment.

Yet this was a moment worth paying attention to. My research shows that ordinary experiences—like a meal shared with a loved one—can produce as much happiness as extraordinary experiences, such as vacations to Belize or Paris.

But this is only true for those who recognize their time as precious. Whether due to age or even a simple reminder that life is finite, people become more likely to notice and savor simple joys: the sky changing color as the sun goes down, the laughter of family at the dinner table, a kiss on the forehead to say goodnight.

At the restaurant, I asked my friend whether she wouldn’t mind putting her phone in her purse. Laughing about my nerdy commitment to happiness, she obliged and actually seemed grateful for the nudge. Then, we easily settled into our groove, excitedly chatting and truly catching up.

Don’t think it’s enough to turn over your phone to avoid being distracted by it.

Do pay attention to the joy in the everyday. Protect your happiest activities from distraction by designating these times as “no phone zones,” say at dinners with friends or family, and explain to kids the reasons why. Putting your phones out of sight puts your other to-dos out of mind—and allows you and your loved ones to actually enjoy each other and what you’re doing.

Related Tags:

The opinions expressed in Ask a Psychologist: Helping Students Thrive Now are strictly those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinions or endorsement of Editorial Projects in Education, or any of its publications.

Events

This content is provided by our sponsor. It is not written by and does not necessarily reflect the views of Education Week's editorial staff.
Sponsor
Mathematics Webinar
Pave the Path to Excellence in Math
Empower your students' math journey with Sue O'Connell, author of “Math in Practice” and “Navigating Numeracy.”
Content provided by hand2mind
This content is provided by our sponsor. It is not written by and does not necessarily reflect the views of Education Week's editorial staff.
Sponsor
Recruitment & Retention Webinar
Combatting Teacher Shortages: Strategies for Classroom Balance and Learning Success
Learn from leaders in education as they share insights and strategies to support teachers and students.
Content provided by DreamBox Learning
Classroom Technology K-12 Essentials Forum Reading Instruction and AI: New Strategies for the Big Education Challenges of Our Time
Join the conversation as experts in the field explore these instructional pain points and offer game-changing guidance for K-12 leaders and educators.

EdWeek Top School Jobs

Teacher Jobs
Search over ten thousand teaching jobs nationwide — elementary, middle, high school and more.
View Jobs
Principal Jobs
Find hundreds of jobs for principals, assistant principals, and other school leadership roles.
View Jobs
Administrator Jobs
Over a thousand district-level jobs: superintendents, directors, more.
View Jobs
Support Staff Jobs
Search thousands of jobs, from paraprofessionals to counselors and more.
View Jobs

Read Next

Student Well-Being Opinion What Data-Driven SEL Has Done for My District
Here’s how data can transform social-emotional learning, writes an SEL district coordinator.
Michael Mallery Jr.
4 min read
Multi colored vector illustration of group of stylized people
Digital Vision Vectors/Getty
Student Well-Being Busting Myths and Misconceptions About Motivating Students
Three experts in motivation weigh in on how to help students stay engaged and focused in school.
4 min read
Students with raised hands.
E+ / Getty
Student Well-Being Free Meals for All Students Is Best Way to Combat Hunger, Report Concludes
Some students say the quality of free meals has declined over the past few years.
3 min read
Students eat lunch at Edward A. Reynolds West Side High School in New York on Dec. 10, 2019.
Students eat lunch at Edward A. Reynolds West Side High School in New York City on Dec. 10, 2019.
Seth Wenig/AP
Student Well-Being Gen Z: We Are Struggling With Mental Health, But Our Grades Are Good
Fewer than half of Gen Z describe themselves as feeling prepared for their futures.
5 min read
Photo of high school students in class.
E+ / Getty