Kindergarten marks a critical stage in a child’s growth, setting the foundation for their journey into becoming an engaged and compassionate member of society. During this formative phase, children develop a passion for learning, build meaningful bonds, and, most significantly, start to explore and manage their feelings in constructive ways.
Recently, those of us who work in elementary schools have observed a growing number of kindergartners having challenges with self-regulation, which can impact an entire school community. Dysregulated students can create stress, burnout, and unsafe learning environments for their teachers and peers.
As we begin to plan for a new group of kindergarten students to start, how can we, as school leaders, better address these difficulties and equip students, staff, and faculty with the tools they need to thrive?
In this biweekly column, principals and other authorities on school leadership—including researchers, education professors, district administrators, and assistant principals—offer timely and timeless advice for their peers.
The solution begins with trust. Before implementing meaningful strategies like social-emotional-learning programs, teachers, staff, students, and families must have trust in their school leader to foster collaboration, provide guidance, and create unity.
In the Harvard Business Review article “Managing People: Begin with Trust,” authors Frances Frei and Anne Morriss emphasize that trust is “one of the most essential forms of capital a leader has” and the first step in becoming a genuinely empowering one.
This trust, Frei and Morriss explain, is built on three core drivers: empathy (“I believe you care about me and my success”), authenticity (“I experience the real you”), and logic (“I know you can do it; your reasoning and judgment are sound”). For school leaders, combining these three drivers can help us build the trust we need to address the complex social and emotional needs of students effectively.
Below are three actionable steps that I have found to apply these trust-building drivers in service of a thriving, supportive school community:
1. Demonstrate empathy by taking every challenge seriously.
Leaders must prioritize empathy in their actions to foster trust and collaboration. Demonstrating empathy through active listening, acknowledging challenges, and providing meaningful support enhances teachers’ sense of efficacy and builds a stronger, more unified school culture.
A student struggling with dysregulation inevitably leads to numerous meetings—whether with families or faculty. The cues we, as the school leaders, send during these stressful moments can either strengthen trust within our teams or produce significant barriers. As school leaders, our plates are often full, but the moment we signal that one situation isn’t as important as another, trust begins to erode.
Attend meetings and classroom visits with full attention, demonstrating that each concern is valued. Validate the emotions of teachers, students, and families by acknowledging their challenges and offering encouragement without judgment. This empathy paves the way for practical solutions to build students’ self-regulation.
2. Lead with authenticity by acknowledging your own limitations.
Are you afraid to show the real you in your position? How different is your work persona from your personal one? Holding back too much of yourself at work can create what Frei and Morriss identify as “an artificial cap on trust.”
Leaders who are authentic and transparent can foster deeper trust within their teams. A leader’s willingness to admit limitations and rely on diverse perspectives encourages openness and innovation on their teams. Remember to align your actions and decisions with the values you promote—such as empathy and collaboration—to authentically model the behavior you expect from others.
As building leaders, we often strive to be the “fixer” of all problems in our schools, but we’d be better served being transparent about the areas where we lack confidence. For example, if SEL is one of those areas in which you don’t feel completely confident, be honest about it and seek support from your team. This is why it’s so important to have staff members with diverse skill sets.
3. Model your logic with consistent and sound judgment.
When leaders prioritize clear reasoning aligned with shared school values, they create a dependable foundation for their team during phases of uncertainty.
As school leaders, we must model this strength in our leadership. When we are transparent about the logic of our decisionmaking, we allow our teams to trust that our reasoning and judgment are sound. Navigating the day-to-day unpredictability of a dysregulated child can feel like a roller coaster, so it’s essential that we are consistent. When they know what they can expect from us, our teams are more likely to come to us without hesitation when they need more support.
Ensure your actions and decisions reflect the values and goals of your school team. Stay grounded and steady, so that your staff has confidence in your judgment and reasoning and sees you as reliable.
