Imagine this: You’re a 6th grade teacher. It’s 8:17 a.m. As you’re about to start a lesson, a student mutters, “This is stupid.” Another is on the verge of tears. Someone else is bouncing off the walls. You’re expected to teach, manage behavior, sustain a positive classroom climate, notice who’s falling through the cracks, and stay calm enough to be the adult everyone can lean on.
This emotional load doesn’t just affect teaching and learning—it drives it.
Social and emotional learning has gained significant traction for students in the past two decades, and that’s a good thing. Most programs assume educators are ready to implement them but teachers must be taught SEL for themselves to effectively teach not just SEL curriculum but all curriculum. As it now stands, school leaders and program providers rarely ask if educators have the time, support, or training to navigate the emotional demands of their roles.
If advocates do not want SEL to become another initiative that dies in a binder, schools must put SEL for educators at the center of school improvement. Adult SEL is about the process through which adults develop the skills associated with self- and social awareness, emotion regulation, relationship management, and responsible decisionmaking; it’s not another program.
Research suggests effective SEL for students starts with social and emotional competence in teachers. Educators who can recognize emotions, regulate stress, and support students tend to have greater well-being and stronger, more engaging learning environments.
Yet, as we have seen in our research, most SEL professional development trains teachers to deliver SEL content to students but stops short of helping them internalize and practice it themselves. SEL curriculum alone does not transform classrooms. It’s the educator’s emotional presence—how they handle disruption, process frustration, build and repair relationships, and engage students—that breathes life into all curriculum (not just SEL) and makes it meaningful.
A promising new framework from researchers at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and the University of Virginia (including three of us who penned this essay, Nicole Elbertson, Patricia Jennings, and Marc Brackett) identifies three domains of educators who need to utilize their own SEL. At its core, it is: Learn it, live it, teach it.
Here is how educators can put these domains into practice right now.
Learn it: Strengthen your skills to manage the emotional load
This isn’t about “being nicer” or “staying positive.” It’s about building capacity so you can meet hard moments without depleting yourself.
1. Do a 30-second check-in before the day runs you. Pick three moments as anchors (before students arrive, before your toughest transition, before you leave). Ask:
- What am I feeling right now?
- What’s driving it?
- What do I need next (realistically)?
It can be as small as: “I’m anxious because I’m behind. I need two minutes to prioritize.” Naming doesn’t solve everything, but it stops feelings from hijacking the day.
2. Protect your recovery like it’s instructional time. You can’t teach on an empty tank. Build micro-recovery time into the day, such as a 90-second reset after a tough class (a drink of water, a few deep breaths) or a “closing routine” before you drive home (“How do I want to show up for my family? What do I need to show up that way?”). Burnout often isn’t about an ability or unwillingness to care.
Live it: Weave SEL into everyday classroom interactions
Students learn how to regulate emotions partly by watching what adults do when things get tough. SEL becomes credible when it shows up in your tone, your choices, and your “repairs.”
1. Narrate how you regulate out loud. You don’t have to overshare. Just model the strategies:
- “I’m getting frustrated, so I’m taking a second before I respond.”
- “That surprised me. Let me reset and try again.”
This helps students see that emotions inform our actions and that the real skill is what you choose to do with that information.
2. Make repair part of your routine. Repair, or the act of reconnecting and restoring trust after harm, conflict, or a missed moment, is one of the most powerful forms of teaching because it shows students what to do after a situation that wasn’t handled well. Here’s a simple repair script:
- Name it: “That didn’t come out the way I intended.”
- Own it: “I raised my voice.”
- Next step: “Here’s what I’ll do differently next time and here’s what I need from you.”
Even a 60-second repair can rebuild trust with students and teach accountability without shame.
Teach it: Teach SEL explicitly to students in ways that stick
Explicit SEL doesn’t always have to be a lesson from a curriculum. It can be a short and consistent routine like doing an emotion check-in that is integrated into what you’re already doing.
1. Teach emotion vocabulary like you teach literacy. Once a week, introduce a “feeling word” (e.g., discouraged, overwhelmed, optimistic) to your students.
- Define it.
- Ask, “What’s a time you felt it?”
- Have students share what helps them to shift or keep the feeling.
Students are less likely to act out strong emotions when they can name what they feel and cultivate strategies to regulate their emotions.
2. Practice the hard moments before they happen. When emotions run high, kids don’t suddenly get wise—they fall back on old habits or what they’ve practiced. Give students simple scripts and let them rehearse or role-play how to handle challenging situations like disagreeing respectfully, asking for help, responding to teasing, or calming down after a conflict.
Evidence-based programs like RULER and Cultivating Awareness and Resilience in Education that offer specific training for adults, show that everyone benefits when adults build SEL skills. In an experiment by researchers (including Patricia Jennings) with 224 elementary teachers in underresourced schools, educators who completed SEL training experienced better emotion regulation and reduced stress. Their students also reported increased engagement, motivation, and academic confidence. Another 2022 study (by researchers including Marc Brackett) showed that training educators improves school climate, like teaching quality, relationships, and student voice—even before students receive SEL instruction.
Teaching is one of the most emotionally demanding professions with burnout as a major issue. Yet, educator SEL is rarely funded or embedded in preparation, licensure, implementation, or school improvement plans. If we want teachers to thrive and stay, educator SEL can’t be an add-on; it has to be the foundation of teaching and learning.
The process does not detract from rigor, nor does it add to teachers’ load. The evidence suggests the opposite: SEL is what makes rigorous teaching and learning possible. If we want reforms that last, we must invest in the people who are responsible for culture every day—the adults who shape children’s lives, interaction by interaction.
