School & District Management Video

How School Leaders Can Learn to ‘Disagree Better’

By Olina Banerji — September 13, 2024 3 min read
  • Save to favorites
  • Print

Leading schools through a politically tense era means principals, superintendents, and teachers must learn how to de-polarize conflicts. These could range from divisions among students and parents about the upcoming presidential election to local debates around cellphone restrictions, book bans, or gender-neutral bathrooms.

Schools have always been affected during periods of polarizing conflicts, but due in part to social media, the pitch and intensity of these conflicts may seem larger these days. It’s also unlikely for these polarizing disagreements to disappear any time soon.

“Disagreement is normal,” said Katy Anthes, a former education commissioner in Colorado who is now the director of the FORWARD Initiative at the Public Education and Business Coalition, a Denver-based teacher training and advocacy organization, during a recent virtual discussion hosted by Education Week.

Anthes, who trains school leaders to navigate and resolve conflicts, said leaders should strive to keep disagreements “productive,” instead of letting them slide into a “destructive” space. Destructive conflict occurs when those arguing believe that their opinion is better than their opponent’s beliefs.

To stay in the space of productive disagreement, Andrea Kane, a former superintendent from Maryland, suggested during the panel that it’s important to “humanize” the other person.

“It helps to see this individual as a grandparent. … Listen to them with that lens and accord them the respect,” said Kane, a professor of practice at the University of Pennsylvania’s Graduate School of Education.

School leaders avoid conflict because they aren’t trained to deal with it, said Eli Gottlieb, a cultural psychologist who frequently advises educational leaders, among others, on leadership and strategy.

The third panelist in the discussion, Gottlieb said leaders may be afraid to disagree with parents, or have a difficult conversation with school board members, but they can seek training on how to disagree better.

“This can help them to create a safer environment for their teachers to disagree with them,” Gottlieb said.

School leaders can set ground rules for discussions with people who disagree

A critical strategy to have productive disagreements, the three experts said, is to set some ground rules for the discussion with an opponent.

In heated debates with school boards, parents, and educators, Anthes said the best strategy, sometimes, is to acknowledge how angry or upset both parties are.

“I would ask to set up another time to talk when we were calmer and ready to listen to each other,” she said of these conversations during the pandemic. “I would also set ground rules for the follow-up discussion.”

Setting these ground rules, or norms, for discussion, Kane said, can make opponents more empathetic toward each other even as they argue. Going into a discussion with an “inquiry mindset” means a leader doesn’t go in assuming the other person is there only to argue.

“We should assume positive intention,” she said. “You’ve also got to know what triggers you.”

Focus on a common starting point

Getting some clarity on shared values, even when opponents might beon the opposite sides of an argument, may keep the conversation civil, Gottlieb said.

“There are people who are making a living out of making us feel we are divided. It’s fanned by social media. We shouldn’t overestimate polarization,” Gottlieb said.

In education, he added, one of the key strategies is to find the value system the arguments are based on. For instance, the conflict could be about religion or gender, but the core value, on both sides, could be about a student’s well-being.

“We have to find out what the common concerns are,” he said.

This also extends to certain phrases like social-emotional learning or equity, which may mean different things to different people, Kane said.

“We need to have everyone articulate it [before a discussion] and fill in the [gaps],” she said. “Even if we don’t agree, we have a common ground, for the moment, for what we’re talking about.”

Events

This content is provided by our sponsor. It is not written by and does not necessarily reflect the views of Education Week's editorial staff.
Sponsor
Science Webinar
Spark Minds, Reignite Students & Teachers: STEM’s Role in Supporting Presence and Engagement
Is your district struggling with chronic absenteeism? Discover how STEM can reignite students' and teachers' passion for learning.
Content provided by Project Lead The Way
Recruitment & Retention Webinar EdRecruiter 2025 Survey Results: The Outlook for Recruitment and Retention
See exclusive findings from EdWeek’s nationwide survey of K-12 job seekers and district HR professionals on recruitment, retention, and job satisfaction. 
Jobs Virtual Career Fair for Teachers and K-12 Staff
Find teaching jobs and K-12 education jubs at the EdWeek Top School Jobs virtual career fair.

EdWeek Top School Jobs

Teacher Jobs
Search over ten thousand teaching jobs nationwide — elementary, middle, high school and more.
View Jobs
Principal Jobs
Find hundreds of jobs for principals, assistant principals, and other school leadership roles.
View Jobs
Administrator Jobs
Over a thousand district-level jobs: superintendents, directors, more.
View Jobs
Support Staff Jobs
Search thousands of jobs, from paraprofessionals to counselors and more.
View Jobs

Read Next

School & District Management Superintendents Say Public Schools Can Compete With School Choice. Here's How
The four finalists for the National Superintendent said schools have to get creative to attract students.
4 min read
011425 SOY Finalists BS
The four finalists for the 2025 National Superintendent of the Year speak at a Jan. 9 panel discussion at the National Press Club in Washington. From left to right: Debbie Jones, Walter B. Gonsoulin Jr., Sharon Desmoulin-Kherat, and David K. Moore
Courtesy of AASA
School & District Management Classroom Interruptions Add Up Quickly to Lost Learning Time
During a typical school year, teachers contend with potentially thousands of interruptions to classroom time.
3 min read
Image of a clock on supplies.
Laura Baker/Education Week via Canva<br/>
School & District Management Are Snow Days Making a Comeback?
While some school districts use remote learning days when wintry weather strikes, others are reverting to—or sticking with—snow days.
4 min read
Rosie Henson, from left, Charlotte Hall and Jaya Demni play around in the snow near Schifferstadt Museum in Frederick, Md.,on Monday, Jan. 6. 2025.
Rosie Henson, from left, Charlotte Hall and Jaya Demni play around in the snow near Schifferstadt Museum in Frederick, Md.,on Jan. 6. 2025.
Ric Dugan/The Frederick News-Post via AP
School & District Management Opinion When I Left the Classroom for Administration, Did I Join the Dark Side?
When I became a school leader, I thought I’d still always be a teacher first. It wasn’t that simple.
Sarah Berman
4 min read
Being able to empathize with both the dark and light sides of teaching and administrative work.
Vanessa Solis/Education Week via Canva