Opinion
School Climate & Safety Opinion

Give the Gift of Kindness: How to Create a Culture of Gratitude in Your School

A simple way to spread a little joy in the season of thanks and celebration
By Debbie Adkins — December 06, 2024 4 min read
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During the holiday season last year, a few of my advisees and middle school students surprised me with Christmas gifts. Typically, our school’s Family Association, our school’s version of a parent council, collects contributions from families and redistributes them as gift cards to faculty and staff members, so receiving direct gifts outright from a student or a student’s family is somewhat rare. I wrote a thank you note to each advisee and student for their gifts, expressing my gratitude and sharing a personal anecdote about the present. I distributed my thank you cards unassumingly on our return to school after the break.

Handwritten notes are often overlooked, but that day, I learned they can stand out in the most unexpected ways. After receiving my notecard, one of my 5th grade students walked up to me at the end of the period, gave me a big hug, and exclaimed, “Thank you so much! That was the nicest note I have ever gotten!” I was touched and somewhat surprised by his strong reaction. It has always been my custom to write thank you notes, but in that moment, I realized how rare it might be for some to receive one. I told him that he was very welcome and that I was the one who was grateful. After all, the thoughtfulness he and his family showed me in purchasing, wrapping, and delivering the gift was an unexpected delight. He beamed and replied, “Well, it was so nice of you to write to me. I’m going to keep the card forever.”

Just before summer break, a few students gave me small gifts to show their family’s appreciation. Because it was the end of the school year, I mailed my thank you notes. A few weeks later, while leading a summer camp project on science, technology, engineering, and math held at my school, I ran into a group of students. Most offered a quick hello, but one student threw her arms around me with great enthusiasm. “Thank you for the letter!” It took me a moment to realize her excitement was for the notecard I had mailed. Once again, I was struck by her reaction to something so simple, but I delighted in her joy. We talked briefly, and then she skipped off to join her peers.

These experiences left me wondering: Has expressing gratitude become so rare that it elicits such intense responses?

Over the years, I have received gifts from students ranging from broken homemade cookies to gift cards for fine dining. Regardless of the gift’s size or value, I have always taken the time to write a note of thanks. Perhaps some students think the simplicity of their present means it’s unworthy of formalized gratitude. Or is it that, during this digital age of emails and texting, handwritten letters and notes have become such scarce remnants of past conventions that they now carry greater significance as a tangible and personal gesture of appreciation? Does receiving a personal note by mail increase its impact even more?

I have thought about the significance of the notecards exchanged among adults at school. It’s heartwarming to see teachers display thank you cards from colleagues on their bulletin boards, transforming simple notes of appreciation into a visual tapestry of support and camaraderie. My own desk drawer holds a collection of notecards, each one a testament to the gratitude of others over the years. Some express appreciation for small favors, like covering a duty or providing a meal for a colleague experiencing family challenges. Others contain notes of encouragement during stressful times or celebrations of shared successes. Each card represents a moment of connection, reminding me of my meaningful relationships at my school. Educators get educators, and the simple gesture of writing a notecard can make a big difference in our day-to-day experiences.

A handwritten notecard could be just the thing that brightens someone’s day.

I also have received notecards from families that express appreciation for my role in guiding students toward success. On occasion, parents will thank me for the time and energy I’ve invested in their children and for making a difference in their learning experiences. It is empowering to hear from families who value the impact of my work, and their support reinforces my commitment.

The notes I treasure most, however, come from the students themselves. On particularly tiring or difficult days, I reread these notes and am reminded why I chose this profession. I suppose the warmth the notecards bring to me mirrors the feelings some of my students may experience when they receive cards from me. We do the hard work of learning together, and it’s easy to get caught up in the challenges. Notecards offer a chance to pause, reflect, and appreciate each other as individuals beyond the demands of our shared school experience.

As we head into the season of thanks and celebration, let’s remember the opportunity to spread a little joy. A handwritten notecard could be just the thing that brightens someone’s day. Here are a few ways students and staff can get started:

  • Teachers, lead by example! Always write thank you notes for gifts received.
  • Reflect on your day. What opportunities are there for you to write a notecard to someone who made a difference for you?
  • Celebrate accomplishments by writing quick notes to students (and colleagues) for achieving goals and reaching milestones. Praise effort, ensuring your notes are genuine and equitably distributed among students.
  • Set aside time for students to express written gratitude and support for other students. For example, our school uses “buddy mail” to encourage positive correspondence among students in different grades.
  • Encourage students to write thank you notes to teachers of their choice and provide time for them to do so. Some of the most thoughtful notecards I’ve received were inspired by another teacher’s gentle encouragement.

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