Student Absenteeism

How to Get Past the Blame Game when Kids Refuse to Come to School

By Olina Banerji — September 03, 2026 5 min read
A crossing guard stops traffic as a parents accompany their children back to school on the first day of New York City Public Schools 2025-2026 scholastic year, in the New York City borough of Queens, NY, September 4, 2025.
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Next month, the nation’s largest school district will try a new approach to tackle chronic absenteeism: appointing school avoidance liaisons. Liaisons—who may be teachers, administrators, or any other educator—will be responsible for tracking student absences and communicating with families about attendance drops, among other duties.

This new role is part of a series of changes made by New York City public schools to tighten up their response to “school avoidance” after a lawsuit filed by four students in October 2024, who had stopped regularly attending school because of their emotional and social disabilities, like severe anxiety or depression. School avoidance, also known as school refusal, means students have severe discomfort or fear about attending class or remaining there for a full day.

The lawsuit alleged that the district didn’t have procedures or policies in place to accommodate the students’ requirements so they could attend school. The decision to appoint liaisons to each of the district’s 1,500-plus schools is part of an agreement struck between the district and the legal team that represented the students.

The school avoidance liaisons will be part of schools’ attendance committees and trained to identify signs of school avoidance and “coordinate student-centered supports” to families, said Onika Richards, the deputy press secretary for the district, in an emailed statement. “By doing this, we are creating school environments where students feel connected, supported, and ready to learn.”

Jeffery Metzler, a litigation partner with the Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman law firm, which represented the plaintiffs, told Chalkbeat New York in August that it may be unrealistic to assume that every school liaison will become an expert in “all of the potentially complicated issues that could result in school avoidance,” but they would know enough to reach out to “people who do have that expertise.”

School avoidance isn’t an easy concept to grasp because, at surface level, it can look like a student who’s just being defiant or manipulating their parents to stay home, said Jayne Demsky, the founder of the School Avoidance Alliance, a group that helps parents and schools understand and navigate school avoidance.

“It might look manipulative because kids who have school avoidance have this paralyzing, uncontrollable fear regarding school or something related to school,” she said. “The biggest misconception is that kids can control it.”

Demsky works with school districts to train teachers and counselors to identify signs of school avoidance in students early. Professional development for educators is important, but it’s even more critical that school staff—including nurses, psychologists, and attendance coordinators—work as a team.

A teacher or counselor working with a student who is refusing to go to school may not understand school avoidance like a psychologist does, Demsky said.

“They could be wasting weeks and months trying to help the kid when they need to get involved with the whole team,” she said.

What role can the liaison play?

One in 3 students at New York City’s schools is chronically absent, often because of anxiety, depression, or trauma-related school avoidance, according to a 2025 note by the city’s comptroller.

Demsky applauded New York City’s decision to appoint school avoidance liaisons but stressed that there needs to be equal focus on training other school employees, identifying the psychosocial barriers that keep students home, and creating attendance plans for these students. Putting all that responsibility on one person will “set them up for disappointment,” she said.

Instead of working in a silo, the liaison should coordinate the efforts of nurses, social workers, administrators, and psychologists and work with them to plan how to get students back to class. This role should also involve working with families to understand the full picture of why a student may be reluctant to attend school, said Demsky.

It’s critical that liaisons stay in touch with the students as well.

“If the school forgets about the kid, the kids forget about the school,” said Demsky.

The school avoidance liaison should also be part of important school meetings on mental health, special education, and student progress, said Christopher Kearney, a distinguished professor and chair of the department of psychology at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas.

“It’s difficult to separate absenteeism from mental health challenges, or economic family problems,” said Kearney. “The person [liaison] should be involved in all the key decisions, so that you’ve got a more comprehensive response.”

How districts tackle school avoidance, even without liaisons

Outside of New York, districts have tried to train existing staff, like social workers and counselors, how to identify and tackle school avoidance.

The Old Bridge Township school district in New Jersey assembled a panel of mental health experts to create a guide on school avoidance after they saw levels of chronic absenteeism peak after the pandemic. The district wanted to set uniform policies and procedures for how schools dealt with avoidance, said Caitlin Colandrea, the director of grants, intervention, and student services.

The guide helps school counselors, teachers, and parents identify signs of school refusal and take steps to mitigate it. For instance, teachers are advised not to chide students who show up to class after a long absence. The guide also helps counselors and social workers offer supports like cognitive behavioral therapy or other interventions, depending on students’ needs.

Every school in the Old Bridge Township district already had attendance coordinators. Post-pandemic, Colandrea said the focus sharpened on school avoidance: The district added new training for all school counselors and appointed mental health coordinators in its middle and high schools who deal with more serious cases of school avoidance.

At the 10 elementary schools, the district mental health coordinator coaches school counselors on avoidance. (Demksy’s organization, the School Avoidance Alliance, was hired by the district for training.)

Old Bridge’s chronic absenteeism rate has fallen from 20% at its post-pandemic peak in 2022 to 12% in the last school year, according to data shared by the district. The effort, said Colandrea, is a result of consistent, data-oriented meetings between counselors, administrators, and teachers.

“The classroom teacher is going know that kid and the family better than any one of them,” Colandrea said. “Without their input, it doesn’t really matter.”

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