November 12, 2004 1 min read

“We’re teenagers. We’re supposed to eat junk food.”

—Nick Abeyta, a 10th grader at Everett High School in Washington, explaining why he was spending a recent lunch hour at McDonald’s instead of the school cafeteria. Under a new district policy designed to curb obesity and cut the sugar quotient in students’ diets, Everett Public Schools has banned soda, candy, french fries, and the like from campus. Vending machines dispense only baked chips, fruit juice, and water, and school lunches now feature only healthy foods, such as chef’s salad and yogurt.

“It felt a little weird not having a shirt on in class.”

—Heather Casey, a 22-year-old New Bedford, Massachusetts, teacher judged by the editors of men’s magazine FHM to be the “hottest teacher in America.” Photos of Casey were picked from among 150 submissions for the magazine’s “Hot for Teacher” competition this summer. The pictures show her posed in varying states of undress on nap mats and chairs in her preschool classroom at the unidentified school where she teaches. School was not in session during the shoot.

“Seven dollars.”

—Newly rehired ESPN sportscaster Steve Cyphers on the raise in his monthly paycheck as a second-year teacher at Holy Family Catholic School in Grand Junction, Colorado. Cyphers, who stepped down from the sports network for two years, recently returned after discovering that his teacher’s salary, at just 13 percent of his ESPN pay, wasn’t paying the bills for him, his wife, and his two children.

“It generally appears the teacher was trying to help raise awareness with the family.”

—Dallas Independent School District spokesman Donald Claxton, attempting to explain why a teacher sent a 1st grader home with a note and feces in his backpack. The Gabe P. Allen Elementary School teacher, who is now on administrative leave, was apparently frustrated because the 6-year-old defecated on the classroom floor. The boy’s grandmother said he had repeatedly asked permission to use the lavatory.