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Finding Common Ground

With Peter DeWitt & Michael Nelson

A former K-5 public school principal turned author, presenter, and leadership coach, Peter DeWitt provides insights and advice for education leaders. Former superintendent Michael Nelson is a frequent contributor. Read more from this blog.

School & District Management Opinion

The 10 Words That Will Make You Rethink Education Leadership

One simple statement can shift the way we think about leadership
By Michael Nelson & Peter DeWitt — August 10, 2026 4 min read
Screenshot 2026 08 10 at 5.41.59 PM
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Every once in a while, you hear a sentence that quietly changes the way you think about leadership. This summer, we heard one.

“It is our job to be a blessing to you.”

We had just concluded our preconference session at the Alabama MEGA Conference in Mobile. As is often the case, a state leader stepped to the podium to summarize the learning, share next steps, and thank participants for attending. What we weren’t expecting was for Melissa Shields, Alabama’s assistant state superintendent, to offer 10 simple words that have stayed with us ever since. We found ourselves asking, What does it really mean for a leader to be a blessing?

There wasn’t applause immediately after she spoke. There was something even more powerful. There was a brief pause. It was as though the room collectively recognized that leadership had just been described in a way few of us had heard before. We found ourselves carrying those words home, replaying them during our flights and sharing them with friends, family, and colleagues.

Over the years, we have spent much of our professional lives thinking, writing, and speaking about leadership. We’ve explored intentional leadership, collective leadership, and the conditions that help educators grow. Yet, this simple statement reminded us of something we don’t discuss nearly enough.

That lingering question prompted us to reach out to Shields a week after the conference and ask her to expand on what she meant. Her answer wasn’t about charisma or vision. It wasn’t about organizational charts or strategic plans. It was about the daily choices she makes as a leader to shape the experience of those she leads.

Being a blessing is less about grand gestures and more about daily choices.

It means listening before speaking.

It means asking, “How can I help?” before asking, “Why isn’t this done?”

It means celebrating wins that no one else sees.

We were struck by what wasn’t on her list. She never mentioned test scores, strategic plans, accountability systems, or organizational charts. Those all matter, but they aren’t what people remember most about being led. Long after people forget the agenda from a meeting, they remember whether they felt heard. They remember whether someone noticed their effort. They remember whether a leader removed obstacles or became one. She began somewhere else. She began with the human experience of leadership.

Before people embrace a vision, they experience the person leading it. Before they commit to a strategic plan, they decide whether they trust the leader asking them to commit. Before they innovate, they ask themselves whether it feels safe to take a risk.

Another response Shields shared with us a week after the conference was:

“Leadership should leave people feeling stronger, not smaller.”

Those words shared with us a week after the conference are as powerful as the 10 words she spoke at the end of the conference. Imagine if every leadership decision were filtered through that lens. Did this meeting leave people stronger or smaller? Did this email strengthen relationships or weaken them? Did this conversation increase confidence or diminish it? Leadership isn’t simply measured by what gets accomplished. It is also measured by what happens to people along the way.

Education has become very good at asking leaders to produce results. Principals and district leaders are expected to develop strategic plans, improve student outcomes, implement new initiatives, navigate accountability systems, and respond to the rapid changes reshaping schools. These responsibilities matter. They are an essential part of leadership in building systems for students.

But somewhere along the way, another question has slipped into the background: How do the people we lead experience our leadership or, as Shields challenged us to consider, “Do the people we lead experience us as a blessing?”

Her words prompted us to ask a question we had never considered in quite this way: What is it like to be led by me? Would the people we serve describe an experience that resembles her vision of leadership? We suspect something else happens when people experience leadership in this way. They become more willing to trust, collaborate, innovate, and persevere. In other words, the culture shifts before the results do.

In our workshops, we’re frequently asked how leaders gain buy-in. It’s a fair question, but perhaps it’s incomplete. Before people buy into an initiative, they first decide whether they trust the person inviting them into the work. Maybe buy-in isn’t something leaders achieve. Maybe it’s something they earn through the daily choices Shields describes.

Whether you are a superintendent, principal, instructional coach, department chair, or teacher leader, the beginning of the school year offers a fresh opportunity. Not simply to launch new initiatives but to shape how people experience your leadership. Shields’ words have now made us wonder if we should consider using the sentence, “It is our job to be a blessing to you.” at the core of our leadership-improvement efforts.

When someone leaves your office, your meeting, or your classroom this school year, will they leave feeling stronger or smaller?

The opinions expressed in Finding Common Ground With Peter DeWitt & Michael Nelson are strictly those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinions or endorsement of Editorial Projects in Education, or any of its publications.

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