Mrs. Bluebird of Bluebird’s Classroom knows a stoner when she sees one. No … it’s not what you’re thinking … she tutored the stoned surfer boys at her Southern California high school in the 70s. Now, as a 7th grade teacher, she’s dealing with Spicoli Boy (named for Sean Penn’s famously stony character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High), a formerly advanced student who has taken a serious academic slide.
Spicoli Boy [sits] in a dazed stupor in my fourth period class ... He's not a problem behavior-wise outside of the fact that there are times I feel a need to check his pulse to see that he's alive and hasn't just passed away sitting upright with his eyes half-closed. He never has a pencil. He never has paper. He never has a book, a binder, and certainly not a clue.
Mrs. Bluebird’s frustration is compounded by the reactions of Spicoli Boy’s parents. Spicoli Dad doesn’t seem to care. Spicoli Mom, though concerned, believes her son’s tearful explanation that he turns in his work, but the teachers lose it all. Mrs. Bluebird is hoping Spicoli Boy’s parents might see the light, however, since he got “popped” for having weed recently.
A version of this news article first appeared in the Blogboard blog.