Dear Jon:
Here are some questions you might ask Secretary Spellings tonight on the show:
In an all-out brawl between you and Secretary of State Condi Rice, who do you think would win, what is your preferred fighting style, and can I watch?
How come that guy Alberto is getting such a hard time from Congress while you’re sharing laughs and brownie recipes? Is it because he’s short, or just because he’s Mexican?
So basically Reading First is being fixed and you’ve got a commission studying student loans, so we shouldn’t worry or anything, right?
What are we to make of the fact that you are such a big fan of American Idol, a show in which talent matters little and there is a shocking lack of accountability?
People have said you use your charm and pleasantness to defuse tense situations and deflect criticism. Is that fair to say? If so, who do you think is hotter, Kennedy or Miller? Hey, did you just wink at me?