February 1991
Restroom Regs From Hell Some schoolhouse guerrilla in Chicago, apparently upset with the city school board's tendency to write rules for every aspect of a teacher's life, has been anonymously circulating an official-looking parody of a board memo, titled "Restroom Trip Policy For All Chicago Public School Teachers.'' The mock memo begins all too plausibly by saying a new Restroom Trip Policy (RTP) will be established to fight a marked increase in teacher abuse of restroom privileges. It soon sails off into the bureaucratic twilight zone, announcing, for example, a new Restroom Trip Bank and a Restroom Trip Card, which allows each employee 20 restroom visits per month. The memo generously notes that "unused restroom trip credits'' (URTC) can be accumulated from month to month; the balance, however, may not exceed 30. To enforce all this, school restrooms will be equipped with Computer-Linked Voice Print Recognition. "If an employee's restroom trip bank balance reaches zero,'' the memo states, "the doors to all restrooms will not unlock to that employee's voice until the first day of the month.'' Furthermore, if a stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. "Thirty seconds after the alarm sounds,'' the memo warns, "the toilet paper in the stall will retract, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will automatically spring open.''
Vail's wrenching problem is a common one among teachers. A few years ago, most teachers would not have been expected to broach the subject of death in their classrooms; it wasn't considered a suitable topic for children, let alone school. But that attitude is changing. Some experts suggest that the erosion of the nuclear family--the traditional source of comfort for grieving children-- is, at least in part, responsible for the shift. One thing is certain: Schools and teachers are being called on more and more to help children handle the pain of loss.
Group travel. Palazzi got her free passage by booking a group of 26 fellow teachers and friends on the cruise. Most travel agents will provide a free trip to anyone who organizes an excursion with 15 or more people, according to Robert Whitley, president of the U.S. Tour Operators Association.