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Apparently that did not occur to the New York City Board of Education. It posted Al Merget, a truant officer (or "attendance teacher,'' as they are called in New York) to the schools in Riker's Island prison. Merget was finally paroled to a regular school after filing a special appeal.

Learn Or Die

According to the Taurus Entertainment Co., Mark Lester, the director of Roller Boogie and Truck Stop Women, "continues to choose subject matter that reflects his concern with social issues.'' His latest choice: the crisis in education.

In this summer's Class of 1999, produced and directed by Lester, the crisis has gotten so out of hand that killer robot-teachers designed by the Department of Educational Defense are sent into classrooms to keep heavily armed students in line.

Although one critic dismissed the picture as "a low-budget Terminator,'' the socially conscious filmmaker says, "Unless the country wakes up and takes some positive action, in 10 years or so what we're showing here may seem understated.''

Yo, Homeboy, Get 'Siced, The Presidents Are Def

From a rap written by teacher Jennifer McAtee to teach her 5th graders at Ravenswood (W.Va.) Grade School the order of the presidents: "P-P-P-Presidents, P-P-P-Presidents. HERBERT HOOVER, then F.D.R. got us into the Second World War. HARRY S. TRUMAN became quite a power, but not as great as DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER. JOHN F. KENNEDY was the youngest one yet. JOHNSON became president while flyin' on a jet. NIXON was involved with the Watergate scam, GERALD FORD took office without bein' voted in. JAMES E. CARTER was a farmer by trade. He worked hard to earn his presidential grade. RONALD REAGAN rode in from the West. The cowboy president was put to the test. He was number 40 and now for 41: GEORGE BUSH. George Bush, the last to feel the push to be our P-P-P-President, our PP-P-President.''

And What About The Log Lady?

The town is fictitious, but the high school depicted in last spring's eerie surprise TV hit Twin Peaks is real. The late Laura Palmer, mysterious ex-prom queen, perfume saleswoman, and habitue of One-Eyed Jack's, roamed the halls of Mount Si High School in Snoqualmie Valley, Wash., along with assorted lovers, friends, and maybe her murderer.

Twin Peaks director David Lynch and his staff chose the circa 1952 gray and red building as the location for some key episodes and used some of the school's students as extras.

Mount Si will probably be back on the air next fall, since ABC has ordered new Peaks episodes. The show's producers have kept the scripts secret, however, so Mount Si students and teachers will have to tune in like the rest of America to learn what happens to Agent Cooper, how the dwarf fits in, and--of course--who killed Laura Palmer.

None Of The Above

Madeline Nyffeler, an English teacher at Mount Harmon (Utah) Junior High School, asked her students to choose a word from a story they were reading, look it up in the dictionary, and then write a sentence using it correctly. One student wrote: "Asinine. Definition: a member of a secret moslem fanatic sect during the crusades. Sentence: The Asinines crusaded until midnight.''

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