Fund-Raising Hell

By Jennifer Gerdes Borek

My children's return to school this fall has been almost completely normal. My older three have nightly spelling duties to perform, math problems at various levels to compute, and at least 15 minutes of assigned nightly reading. My youngest started preschool this year, and showers me with finger paintings and new ideas. Only one thing has changed, and that is my attitude toward fund-raisers.

Two days after my 5th grader first met her new teacher and classmates, she brought home a large, glossy, four-color packet of treasures to sell. The accompanying note implores parents not to send children door to door for sales, but to show materials to family, friends, and, of course, co-workers at the parent's place of employment. Also inside the packet was the glossy advertisement for what the students would win if they sold so many "units" of listed products. "It's an exciting time of year, meeting new people, coming to a new school, and we thought we'd start this fund-raiser early, so you can share all your news with your family as they look through the packet of goodies!" the pta letter announces. I can hear it now. "Hi Grandpa, get your wallet out." Within the week, my other two grade schoolers had brought home similarly glossy folders.

I would like to hearken back to the days when extended-family members were people with whom to have pleasant visits, and not those who were expected to help pay for the new copy machine at the local school; colleagues were people with whom we had pedagogical discussions rather than comparisons of wrapping-paper ads. Since there has been no such time within the span of my memory, I won't bother. Part of my feelings about this stems from being a parent, part of it from being a teacher, and part from being a minimalist. These three categories have some overlap, so I will begin...